tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post7369211790978432601..comments2023-10-19T05:34:10.647-05:00Comments on Celia Yeary-Romance...and a little bit of Texas: REGRETS, ANYONE?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16272417114895975742noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-5209881124651446962013-06-30T09:18:37.729-05:002013-06-30T09:18:37.729-05:00Morgan--yes, it's easy to say don't cry ov...Morgan--yes, it's easy to say don't cry over spilt milk, or forget what you've done--you can't do anything about it now.<br />Then why do our transgressions--often small compared to some other things I could think of--nag at us often, making us feel guilty and uncomfortable.<br />If I had tried to apologize to my mother about not canning those peas, she would have lectured me again about it--I knew her very well, and knew she would throw it back at me.<br />And truly, that's what kept me from trying to make peace with someone else here or there-I'm certain they would not be gracious about it.<br />A few years ago, I had a blow-up argument with a friend from church. We weren't close, but she did something to hurt me that I can't even tell you about. It simmered, and since I was the one perceived as the wrong-doer, it left me in a spot. I didn't think I was, but I knew this person thought I was.<br />So, one day in church this person came to me with arms wide open--"Oh, Celia, I can't stand this. Will you forgive me?" I thought she thought I was to blame, but she saw herself as to blame. I told her, "oh, by all means, yes...it's forgotten as of this moment." We both cried--it was one of the best moments.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16272417114895975742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-31790284903659189572013-06-29T17:02:49.474-05:002013-06-29T17:02:49.474-05:00Very true, Celia. I do have many regrets about wha...Very true, Celia. I do have many regrets about what I could have said to loved ones who are no longer with me, yet I didn't think of doing so, or it felt too uncomfortable at the time.<br /><br />No use crying over spilt milk, they say, so I try not to do so, but at times something will remind me and trigger a response.<br />Morgan MandelMorgan Mandelhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10118929301591850918noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-57045554521511819682013-06-29T12:30:49.514-05:002013-06-29T12:30:49.514-05:00Maybe, Christi. I'd have to think about that. ...Maybe, Christi. I'd have to think about that. It's not easy to apologize in the first place, but near impossible after many years.<br />Thank you for visiting my blog.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16272417114895975742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-30253223256951726112013-06-29T12:26:01.621-05:002013-06-29T12:26:01.621-05:00Sarah--you have a real success story with your men...Sarah--you have a real success story with your mended relationship with your father. That is a rare thing, and it happened because you opened your heart to him. I praise you for that--it couldn't have been an easy decision. Bless you...and thank you for sharing that story.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16272417114895975742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-18600602425722163672013-06-29T12:23:40.953-05:002013-06-29T12:23:40.953-05:00LK--the older I get, the more I let many feelings ...LK--the older I get, the more I let many feelings go that I usually worry about--why did I do this, and why didn't I do that?<br />Useless exercises, aren't they?<br />As to children, I think few parents can allow their child to be whatever he will be. We want to guide, instruct, demand, whatever...and sometimes that really gets in the way or relationships.<br />I know a man who has three grown single accomplished children, but all three turned against him. Why? He tries to tell his adult children what they're doing wrong-in other words chastising them as though they were still children. The funny thing about this is that it is the exact reason he, himself, turned against his own father.<br />Now, isn't that weird?<br />Thanks for you comment--and yes, youth is wasted on the young.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16272417114895975742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-44663013371966709902013-06-29T10:17:40.424-05:002013-06-29T10:17:40.424-05:00What a lovely post. I have wondered, after many ye...What a lovely post. I have wondered, after many years of regret,if an apology is believed and accepted. Maybe another post for you on that subject?Christi Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11119272886561673331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-12073320938474787842013-06-29T10:14:49.834-05:002013-06-29T10:14:49.834-05:00This comment has been removed by the author.Christi Williamshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11119272886561673331noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-45394262560595657122013-06-28T13:41:00.642-05:002013-06-28T13:41:00.642-05:00I know, Celia, I did some similar things in my you...I know, Celia, I did some similar things in my youth, too. Most of it is what I didn't do, not what I did do. I made my mother cry once with my harsh words. When she died, I played that scene over and over in my head and beat myself up with it. I discounted all the things I did for her and all the loving thigs I said because I just hated that day when I was a teenage know-it-all. She was my favorite person on the earth. <br />After she died, I promised myself I would not make that mistake with my dad. Pop and I were always butting heads, but I decided to devote my time to him whenever I could and get to know him better. It was the best thing I ever did with my parents. I finally asked all those questions I needed to know the answers to about why he did certain things I didn't like. I learned so much about him I might not have known otherwise and we became closer over the next 6 years. Sadly he died suddenly while he was on vacation when I was 33. I had no regrets about my dad because we found resolution.<br />A very thoughtful post, Celia. Sarah J. McNealhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17749991094677728042noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-57342146792111399702013-06-28T11:57:59.743-05:002013-06-28T11:57:59.743-05:00Ah yes, I've struggled with a lot of regrets a...Ah yes, I've struggled with a lot of regrets as well, but I'm getting to the point where I can think: you know, you did your best, and how do you know any other decision would have worked out better? So I agree with the quote from Angelou. <br /><br />It's sad when parents are so unhappy and so inside themselves they can't just appreciate their kids for who they are instead of what they wanted them to be. Big mistake on a parent's part.LK Hunsakerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10706929624587891992noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-13267295467965282622013-06-28T11:30:08.881-05:002013-06-28T11:30:08.881-05:00Lyn--no one is perfect, and that is an understatem...Lyn--no one is perfect, and that is an understatement. We don't get do-overs, do we.<br />Funny, even some things I've done or said that I probably shouldn't have, I don't regret, really.<br />But those that are truly hurtful...yes.<br />You said it all--we hope we can learn from our mistakes.<br />Thank you for coming by.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16272417114895975742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-7792469263005246592013-06-28T10:46:19.661-05:002013-06-28T10:46:19.661-05:00Linda-It's difficult to have a good relationsh...Linda-It's difficult to have a good relationship with a person who is just mad at everything, like my mother was too much of her life, and especially as she aged. You can knock your head against a wall trying to make her happy, but a person such as this must make herself happy.<br />I've always said that I can easily entertain myself.<br />This came to mind this week when the boys were here. They do a good job of entertaining themselves at home, but out of their familiar surroundings, they often were bored--the two older ones--not the young one.<br />Yes, Cheryl does come up with good quotes and comments. I, too, like Maya Angelou's quote.<br />I glad you got something out of my ramblings, and as always, thank you so much.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16272417114895975742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-68084093933250789532013-06-28T10:43:49.336-05:002013-06-28T10:43:49.336-05:00Celia, what a touching post! I have many regrets, ...Celia, what a touching post! I have many regrets, some small, some huge. There are many things I wish I could do different, words I could take back, but part of living is learning from our mistakes. I hope I've learned from mine.Lyn Hornerhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05596495172490672271noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-35230361166092433822013-06-27T18:03:08.495-05:002013-06-27T18:03:08.495-05:00Celia, this blog brought tears to my eyes. It spok...Celia, this blog brought tears to my eyes. It spoke to my heart. I have a FL friend with whom I've shared some regrets and we often speak of "Reeder's regrets and Watson's woes" when we do this. As you know, we have had similar relationships with our mothers. And now that she is gone, I am often regretful of the times I missed to make her happy, but as you indicated, we loved each other but sometimes didn't like each other. I've been blessed with a daughter who is like her daddy and we have a close relationship which I don't deserve (Karma, you know)<br />I loved the Maya Angelou quote and wish I found it easier to forgive myself. But I am glad I have a conscience that makes me aware when I have hurt others and makes me want to be kinder and more understanding. Too soon old, too late smart. Linda Swifthttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00749255692298669394noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-84921630137452085672013-06-27T16:08:14.303-05:002013-06-27T16:08:14.303-05:00Cheryl--well said. I believe the most hurtful feel...Cheryl--well said. I believe the most hurtful feelings come from our own family. I think this is the case now, and always has been. Why? Families should be close, love each other, etc. I see some families and believe this is working fairly well, then why do many more not work?<br />We always hurt the one we love--be it our mother, father, husband, sister, whatever.<br />Mother never understood me--that was our problem. The other sisters did sort of as she expected, but to have one who moved far away, and then decided to go to college with two small children at home? And became a teacher? That was beyond her imagination. She criticized me so much for "ignoring my children." Shoot, they were just fine, and grew up as wonderful young people, and adults. I've heard Mother say to people, well, two of my girls have good jobs, but one became a teacher. Ugh. That hurt.<br />She never understood.<br />Thanks so much for telling me about your mother. We do tend to forget and move on...at least some of us do...but I don't think my mother did. <br /> <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16272417114895975742noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8058304572077474516.post-77385540916885148662013-06-27T13:06:58.815-05:002013-06-27T13:06:58.815-05:00Celia, what a great post. I think of so many thing...Celia, what a great post. I think of so many things like the example you gave, where my mom tried to do things to bring us closer, but I was rebellious and of course, young, and couldn't see that. There were things like that she wanted to pass on to me, but also wanted to use as an avenue to bring us closer--we struggled for many years for middle ground. I wish I had known then what I know now. I'm sure all was forgiven with her, being a mother, we tend to do that--and now that she's passed on, I just imagine her saying, "Well, I hope you learned something from that!" LOL I have to laugh. I know that there were regrets on her part too. She was really never one to apologize to us girls, but when she did, it meant she'd really been thinking about it and felt it was something that was the right thing to do. We have to just forgive ourselves, sometimes the hardest thing to do, and move on. As Maya Angelou said,“I did then what I knew how to do. Now that I know better, I do better.” When you're young you don't know anything. That's why youth is wasted on the young. Cheryl Piersonhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18116526340220274282noreply@blogger.com