I began to think about fathers from the children's sermon yesterday, and how important they are in the development of a child. As adults, our entire personality might be more shaped by our fathers than our mothers. Yes, I wanted the approval of both my parents, but if I rebelled against one of them during my growing up years, it most likely would have been my mother. Not that I was a rebellious child--no, I was somewhat of a pleaser and did not like to argue. But Daddy was away working while Mother was right there all the time. She made the rules, for the most part, except when Daddy made a decision about something and he meant it.
He was a Fifties Daddy, one that worked hard, knew his place, obeyed the laws of the land and the Bible, and was faithful to his wife and three daughters. He was proud of all of us.
Daddy always told me I was pretty, and therefore I thought I was.
He provided enough money for a good house he built and for all the little things we needed..or wanted, within reason, and therefore I thought we were rich. At around age fifteen I realized neither were exactly true, except in the eye of the beholder. By that time, though, I had learned "to act pretty" and "act like we had everything."
I hope I am truly the person I see in my mind's eye, one who loves easily and one who cares about others. The man I married is a good man. I wouldn't have chosen any other kind. And I look up to him just as I looked up to my father.
In thinking all my novels, novellas, and short stories, I believe I have the mention or presence of a father in every one of them. This is not the norm, I don't think, because the majority of the books I read have no mention of a father.
If one of my characters has a severe problem with the opposite sex, then I blame it on the father. If one of my characters has loved and adored his/her father, then I portray that father in such a manner.
|TEXAS TRUE-BOOK II|
THE CAMERON SISTERS
REBECCA J. VICKERY
Sam is not cruel--he's just cold or demanding. Why? His father treated him that way, and kicked him off the ranch at age sixteen and out of inheriting a fortune.
Sam suffers, because deep down, he doesn't want to hurt True. But he simply does not know how to treat her like a wife, and certainly knows nothing about how to love her.
This scene is in the oil camp where Sam is the overall foreman. True takes his orphaned niece and nephew there to live in the camp with the other women:
Sam removed his hat and swiped his hand down his face.
"Go back to Mother's and explain to her that I said to allow you to live there with the children until I am finished with this job. Then, we'll go from there."
"Don't you mean, Sam, that she is to allow me to live there until I am with child? And not a minute longer?"
"Where did you get a notion like that? I'll send a man over in the morning to help you pack." He turned to go when he heard her last declaration.
"You can go to hell. And if you send a man over here, I'll tell him the same thing."
Sam did not send a man the next morning to help her pack, nor did he ever. Once a week, he rode over to have supper with the group to keep up appearances, and once a week, they had physical relations. Each and every time, he dressed, said goodnight, and rode away.
True's heart was broken, but she no other recourse. She must carry this through.
In this scene, Sam had another conflict with True, in which she got the upper hand. He lost his temper, and she told him to leave.
He wasn't certain of anything anymore. As long as he was on his own, roaming about, working here and there, and finally becoming involved in the exciting oil business, he had felt safer and more satisfied with himself. But the inner turmoil of what he had endured his whole life never quite went away.
His True. Their marriage would never work. She might love him and be helpful now, but eventually, he would disappoint her again. Just as he had disappointed his mother and his father. For a long time, he was strong, useful, and successful. Now, he felt used, washed up.
This scene is a confrontation between Sam and his younger brother, Emilio:
Sam just glared at the only brother he had and thought he was as much of a stranger as any man he'd ever seen. He did not answer.
Emilio laughed under his breath. "I see that you don't know. Well, I'll tell you. I was the lookout for Father. I kept an eye on you. I could always go to him and tell him how you were slacking off, whether you were or not, and where you were, if you were hiding. He always rewarded me in some way. Usually, it was just a pat on the head, but sometimes, he gave me money. He always called me "his good boy."
"That's despicable. We played together. We rode together. I thought you and I were real brothers."
"I couldn't stand your guts. You were always so upright and dared to stand up to Father. Even when you knew he'd punish you, you tried to say what you thought was right. Idiot. That only made him madder and gave him more reason to stay on you. You were the oldest, and he really, really wanted you to be like him so you could take over. But he knew, as well as I did, that you were too righteous, too soft to ever take his place."
"So, you became the favored one."
"Sure. Why not? It was a hell of a lot better than being in your shoes. All I had to do was to stand back and watch you destroy yourself. You know what your trouble was?"
"No, I guess not, he said between clenched teeth. "Are you going to tell me?"
"Yeah. Your trouble was that you expected love. Love! Father didn't love anybody, not even me. He didn't love Mother, either. He didn't know the meaning of the word."
"But Mother knew. She loved us." Sam sounded pathetic even to himself. He wished he hadn't said that.
"Yeah, right. Even now, she's out to help herself. She's only trying to regain what she lost. She wants to come back here and live like she used to, and you're her ticket. You and that woman and that baby. But. Doesn't that baby have to be a boy? Yes, indeed, it does. A boy baby is the only thing that can get Mother back to her beloved home, and she expects you to do it all."
Sam stared at his brother. He understood his mother wanted help, but was it all for herself? Now, that's how it looked.
TEXAS TRUE- Instead of running from a marriage built on deception, True Cameron takes charge of her own life. She works to make her husband see her as a partner and that he is worthy of true love.
Celia Yeary-Romance...and a little bit 'o Texas