I know there are times when you want to scream, have a hissy fit, or throw something against the wall. (Just don't kick the cat.) We've all been there, but truly, did the tantrum help? The answer is "no," unless you want to count the fact you feel a little better after venting. That's okay. Really.But did it solve your problem or turn a negative into a positive? No, probably not.
Years ago, when I played a lot of golf, I was a member of the WGA (Women's Golf Association) at the local Country Club. First, this was truly a kind of "country" club. Not one member was an elitist in any shape or form. Every member was just like me--a working person who could afford the low dues and who had time to play.
Since I was a member and had earned a fair handicap, I could play in the championship tournaments. Now, that didn't mean I played in the Championship Flight, but I could enter in the First Flight (There was a Second and a Third Flight, and I always worked very hard to stay above those.
So, the season's championship tournament began. The format was a two-person one-on-one...and there were six two-person groups. First round, half were eliminated. The second round, another half were eliminated. This continued over a period of days until only two players remained in each flight.
During the last round, I had survived and the First Flight trophy would go to one of us. The other player was a much larger woman than I. I am not tall or big, and I am not strong. I hit "short," but almost always in the middle of the fairway, and I worked on my short game all the time--chipping and putting--which is the key to winning or losing.
She and I played 18 holes and at the end, we were tied. She was not happy. I was ecstatic.
So we had to start over on #1 and this time, play Sudden Death.
First hole, we tied. She cursed a little.
Second hole, we tied. She cursed and threw a club.
Third hole--short Par 3, uphill.
My shot flew straight and true and landed just short of the green. She hit and landed in the water on the left. She dropped another ball, hit her Penalty shot, and landed on the green.
I lay ONE, she lay THREE. She became very, very angry, stomped around, threw things, cursed at the sky, and I stood to the side, thinking...I have beaten her. I chipped close and one-putted for a three, she two-putted for a five.
Why? She lost her temper. Yes, her anger and temper defeated her. She was a better player and hitter, but I took the trophy. She remained angry at me for, oh, about eight more years.
Righteous or moral anger against a humanitarian crime or sin is okay. We should be angry when the weak and defenseless are crushed.
But allowing our anger to overcome us for personal desires, something we work for and don't obtain, won't get us anywhere.
The best plan--stay cool and calm. Think through the problem. Can you fix it? Or is the problem out of your hands?
During the last few months, I have been frustrated that sometimes a release just doesn't sell.
Any attempt to find a reason fails, and the frustration builds. I know there's something more I could do, but for the life of me, I can't find a way.
After a few weeks, I decided the problem is not worth agonizing over, and just let it go.
We do the best we can, and if it doesn't work...don't get mad. It won't help one bit.
My advice is to study the problem, devise a new plan, and go in a different direction.
Or forget it and move on.
But whatever you do...don't get mad. You'll lose every time.
Romance...and a little bit of Texas