Thursday, August 12, 2010

Are You Your Own Worst Enemy?

Stop and think—do you sabotage your own success? This can happen on many levels, most of them subconscious, but all are self-destructive. How do I know this? I’ve done so many things to make myself fail or at least feel like a failure, I can’t even count them. We can’t address all the ways we writers knock ourselves down, but we can discuss a few. You might be able to add to this list.
Is Your Attitude Positive or Negative? Ever hear the saying: “Can’t never did anything?” I do admit I often say, “Well, I just can’t do that.” Maybe the statement is in response to rewriting a story that seriously needs an overhaul; to a ten-day blog tour; to spice up a manuscript; to take a workshop that I really need. Instead, be the Little Engine That Could and tell yourself, “I think I can.” Doesn’t that sound much better than “I can’t?”
Is Your Book The Best It Can Be? Does it have reader appeal? Pretend you’re someone else reading your book. (I pretend I’m a lady I know who is rather hard to please—will she like my book?) Does it have urgency, intensity, and enough drama to capture a reader’s heart? Does your own book interest YOU? Remember these principles, and you may just write a Best Seller.
Do You Treat Yourself As Well As You Treat Other Writers? Now, this is simple. If you have a writer friend who is faltering, what do you do? Don’t you try to bolster her confidence, telling her that she is competent, that she is as good a writer as anyone else, and that you have Confidence in her? Then, why not tell yourself these things? Then act that way.
Do You Play At Writing Instead Of Taking It Seriously? By serious, I don’t mean act that way. The one thing you DON’T want to do is lose the joy of writing. Why write if it makes you miserable? Remember how excited you were when you first realized you were a storyteller, and you wanted more than anything to succeed? We need some level of obsession to take ourselves seriously and make others believe it, too. If writing is your dream, then make it happen. Write!

Celia Yeary
Romance…and a little bit o' Texas
TEXAS BLUE-eBook and Print

30 comments:

  1. what a great blog. I have been guilty of being my own worst enemy and have to suck it up fairly often. I used to blame it on my upbringing before I realized I'm an adult now.
    Thanks
    Barbara

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  2. Wonderful advice, Celia!
    I am often harder on myself than anyone I know...except maybe Hubby when he won't take the trash out. LOL But we do need to be kinder to ourselves and we need to write for the joy of writing.

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  3. Celia, what wonderful points you make. For me, the first one is so important. It's got to be a positive experience. That's what makes writing so rewarding.

    Smiles
    Steph

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  4. I'm afraid I'm guilty of a lot of that. I've got to shape up. (g)

    Morgan Mandel
    http://morganmandel.blogspot.com
    http://facebook.com/morgan.mandel

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  5. Hi Celia,

    I'm guilty of sometimes thinking I can't when a new opportunity crops up. For me the problem is not so much that I am unable to take on the challenge, it's that I have to give something else up to make it all work out. But I've learned to take a deep breath and not say no in a knee-jerk reaction because I CAN do it. This attitude has served me well in writing and in other aspects of my life.

    Great post!

    Maggie Toussaint
    www.mudpiesandmagnolias.blogspot.com

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  6. BARBARA--our upbringing can definitely make an impact on us--good or bad--in how we preceive ourselves. Yes, we're adults, but we still have our pasts dragging along with us.Fortunately, I had parents who gave me a good self-image. Celia

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  7. REBECCA--sometimes it's useful to be hard on ourselves, but not so much we make ourselves miserable. The joy of writing does keep me going. Celia

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  8. Steph--well, you're one of the most positive people I know--writers and non-writers. Do you ever get mad or give up? You amaze me. Celia

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  9. MORGAN--just a little pep talk might do it! But I think you have a great self-concept and outlook. I'd love to be more like you. Celia

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  10. MAGGIE-You do have a lot on your plate--far more than I do. Sometimes I feel guilty that I really don't have many responsibilities--this should make me more productive,and I do try. Celia

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  11. Like Maggie, I've learned to say, Sure, I can do that...then I'm left to give something else up in order to do it. Keeps me busy, anyway!


    Liana Laverentz
    www.lianalaverentz.com

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  12. LIANA--I understand--but I usually prefer too much to do rather than not enough. I work best under a little pressure and deadline. Nice to see you! Celia

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  13. Yeah, I think I've been my own worst enemy, on top of being my own severest critic, merciless judge, and complete doubter. LOL. Luckily, these sentiments are the exception rather than the norm.

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  14. Great post, and great advice. I've definitely been my own worst enemy when it comes to my writing career. I lost the joy of writing for a long time and was unable to write, all because I was too focused on the end product rather than enjoying the journey.

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  15. I think enjoying the journey is something I need to focus on more. My problem is that I take on too much 'other stuff' then find I can't prioritise my own writing high enough up the list. Also, downtime is a necessity, not a luxury, but that seems to fall off a cliff too. Blog posts like this are a timely reminder that I need to take myself in hand. Thanks.

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  16. Hi Celia,
    Nice, informative blog, very enlightening.

    Cheers
    Margaret

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  17. Funny, I just bought "The Little Engine That Could" a couple of days ago! Learning positive thinking is indeed a superpower. :-)

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  18. I'm probably guilty of all the above but my latest downfall is the foot-traffic I need to put out to hand-deliver my name and book to local area stores. I also find myself feeling inhibited to hand out cards and brochures--what's up with that?

    Thanks, Celia, for giving me an opportunity to get that out and for the reminder that I love this, which is what got me started in the first place!

    Joanna Aislinn
    NO MATTER WHY
    The Wild Rose Press
    www.joannaaislinn.com
    www.joannaasilinn.wordpress.com

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  19. Celia,

    I think all of us do this at some time or another. When I was getting near to being published I found myself backpedaling a lot until my mentor asked me, "Do you really want to be published?" We discussed the subject for a long while, and I had to make the decision; did I or didn't I want to see my work published. It was a difficult decision.

    Sandy AKA Sandra K. Marshall
    ADDICTION
    Eirelander Publishing
    http://www.skaymarshall.com
    http://www.sandramarshallblog.blogspot.com

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  20. EVIE--I think this might be true for many authors--not all, though. I know some who seem so sure all the time, I just don't know if they really--I guess it doesn't matter, though does it? I, too, am my own worst critic. Celia

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  21. REBECCA--that's a very good short lesson for us all--you can lose yourself in trying too hard and not enjoying your writing. Thanks! Celia

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  22. LInda--you said a very true thing I hadn't thought of--"downtime is a neccessity. Yes, you're so right. I'll be leaving on a short fun trip soon--without my computer!!--and I need it so much--Thanks for that bit of wisdom.
    Celia

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  23. MARGARET--thanks for stopping by--Celia

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  24. LORAINE---how interesting!We thought of the same thing at the same time--Thanks for telling me. Celia

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  25. JOANNA--we all hate that self-promoting, I think. I really don't know any author who just loves to go out there and promote herself--and her book. It's not easy! Don't let an opportunity pass you by--it might be a really good one. Celia

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  26. SANDY--believe it or not, I understand that back-pedaling. But yes, we do want it, or we wouldn't have gone to all this trouble! Celia

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  27. Celia, wonderful, thought-provoking post. I think my best ally in writing and the business end of being an author, is simply 'persistence'. Or plowing ahead with whatever I can get done.

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  28. SAVANNAH--good thinking. Just keep plugging along. And thanks for stopping by--I'm always glad to see you. Celia

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  29. Celia: just what I needed to read! I think I'll print it out and stick it above my desk.

    Big hugs and kisses from Switzerland :)

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  30. FRANCESCA--Be my guest. I wrote this for me, and thought you all might see something in it to hit the mark, too. So nice to see you! Celia

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