Sunday, August 26, 2012
Things To Do During The Political Conventions When They Suck All The Oxygen From The Air
1. Savor the free time and begin a new novel. Better yet, finish the one you began four years ago.
2. Dig out all the old love letters you saved forever from an old boyfriend, read them, and have a good laugh. (I'm fairly confident you will find them humorous. You might even discover a plot for a novel.)
3. Buy a Bazaar magazine, sit down with a pad and pen, and make a list of items you would like to buy. When you have your finished list, kiss it goodbye and chunk it in the garbage.
4. Call three girlfriends, have them meet you at Palmer's...or the favorite bar and restaurant in your town...have margaritas and snacks and gossip your little hearts out.
5. If #4 doesn't fit your lifestyle, call three girlfriends, have them meet you at IHOP, have all the pancakes you can eat with all that whipped cream and gooey stuff on top, and gossip your little hearts out.
6. After you've completed either #4 or #5, go home, regret you did either, and then sleep off the hangover. (Sugar does the same thing to your body as all that alcohol.)
7. Go to the Outlet Mall, visit Coach, Chico's, Brighton, Ann Taylor, DKNY, Gucci, Jones of NY, Prada, and Victoria's Secret. Try on anything you want, but reject everything--unless you have a nice credit card. Go home, kick back in your lounge chair, and read a good novel.
8. At last resort, clean out closets. Trust me...you will feel better.
9. Whatever you do, don't do laundry or clean house or cook.
10. Order pizza and watch the acceptance speech so you can see those 100,000 baloons.